Lockdown Diary: Teenager

I have given birth to a teenager! I didn’t realise until yesterday, when the eight-year-old asked to try on a black sequinned dress I’d bought for when I’m skinny again. When she put it on, I was shocked to see an 18-year-old staring back at me.


I half-expected her to say ‘Right Mum, I’m off clubbing – I’ll see you in the morning!’ It kind of shook me up and made me think how fleeting childhood is – in just ten days, she’ll turn nine, and be exactly halfway through her childhood.


Luckily her size 1 feet are still tiny in my size 6 boots! She was also very taken with my red leopard print boots that I wore on the cover of The Times a few years ago. ‘These aren’t hard to walk in at all!’ she enthused. ‘If my feet were the same size, it would be easy. People always say that walking in high heels is hard, but it’s not.’


In younger more childlike news, we made ‘corner bookmarks’, using instructions from Lily’s new favourite book, 101 Things for Kids to Do on a Rainy Day.


I made one for her:


She made one for me:


And she made one for her younger half-sister, whose name also starts with L:


She also became engrossed in The Girls’ Book of Secrets, while drinking some very healthy apple juice:


And, in an unusual display of helpfulness, she helped me water the plants.


And we went out and sat in the garden in the sun, marvelling at how blue the sky was.


I think Lily must be part-German, as she loves rocking socks with sandals!


This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

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2 thoughts on “Lockdown Diary: Teenager”

  1. I’m gonna say a terrible platitude: they grow up too fast.

    At least my three year old boy is still all into trucks, tractors, trains and dinosaurs.

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